literature

10 Llama Awesomenesses

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Literature Text

Why are llamas awesome you ask?
I shall make you a list. No, no, no, come back! You asked for it, you have to read it.
Wait...you didn't ask? Oh whatever read it anyways.

1. They look awesome.
I mean, not only are they tall, gangly and look a little, erm, odd (like myself). They're POOFy. And who doesn't love something that's POOFy?

2. They spit.
Do I have to add anything? Yes? What do you mean yes?
…Alright, fine.
They hack up phlegm at you. Don't you wish you could do that and get away with it?

3. They have three stomachs.
Oh what I wouldn't give for that kind of room. Okay, okay, I know that having three stomachs would actually mean that I eat less 'cause I digest better and that I would have to chew cud, but I can dream, can't I? Please?

4. Their poop doesn't stink.
At least that's what my homies say. Hey, what are you doing with that duct tape? No! No! GET AWA-

5. They have a communal dump pile.
Okay, maybe this isn't so awesome, but I had to put it there. No, I'm not lying. They all poop in the same spot.

6. Llamas are related to camels.
They both come from the same ancestor, doncha know. This also means they're quite sturdy and can go for weeks without water if they chomp on some grass.

7. Their poop can be used as fuel.
Shut up, I don't have an obsession with poop.
You see, their poop is sometimes dried up and burned as fuel. It's true. Stop looking at me like that.

8. They don't thumb wrestle, they neck wrestle.
Not that they have thumbs anyways...

9. Not only are they just awesome to have, period, they're guard animals like dogs.
Yup. Llamas have balls. Sometimes llama are put into a flock of sheep and are integrated into the flock because sheep're wimps. They totally blend in.

10. They were the first domesticated animals ever.
Meaning: they were the first animals to realize they could manipulate us into worshiping them and spoiling them rotten.
Random title because nothing else would fit. :D

ANYWAYS, I had to do something llama. And since my scanner's down, all I had was my mad lack-of-writing-skillz.

All of these facts are true. What I didn't know I Googled up then double/triple checked depending on the fact. But if you guys have more interesting facts, or I got something wrong let me know!

List of awesomenesses (c) Me
© 2010 - 2024 Kazul9
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fiction-goddess's avatar
Why are most of these related to poop lol